Christian Match: Intimacy

Lately, I was thinking about the modern Western society’s view of intimacy. In television and in the movies, we witness a lot of acts of physical intimacy such as kissing and having sex. The messages in the media definitely give us wrong messages about pursuing our Christian match.

 

I believe that it gives out wrong messages to people as to how to deal with intimacy. In some cases, it reduces the acts of kissing and having sex to pleasurable activities. In other cases, it also weakens our focus on other forms of expressing love.

 

One thing that I believe in is that intimacy is the reward of commitment.

 

If you cannot commit to someone, you cannot be intimate with them.

 

Intimacy is indeed pleasurable. But it must be enjoyed in the right context. Otherwise, it can lead to a lot of suffering.

 

Intimacy causes vulnerability. But if this vulnerability occurs inside a marriage, then both people are protected.

 

There is a good reason why sex is forbidden before marriage. Sex is not just a physical act. It is also a spiritual act. The two people become spiritually connected.

 

Trying to achieve intimacy without the commitment is very selfish.

 

According to the bible, the husband and wife should be able to see each other naked and know no shame.

 

In contrast, people that are not married that see each other naked experience shame. It’s because the other person has not made a commitment to love them.

 

Imagine sharing all of your secrets to someone you barely know. And compare this to sharing secrets to someone that has been with you for your whole life, like someone from your family. You would definitely feel uncomfortable sharing secrets to someone you barely know. You are put in a state of vulnerability, and you cannot necessarily trust the other person not to take advantage of you.

 

Keep this in mind as you pursue your Christian match.

Christian Mingle Post

Christian Mingle

There is a new post about Christian Mingle, and how it compares to Christian Cafe and Christian MatchMaker. I go through their similarities and differences, and make a conclusion as to what is the best Christian matchmaking service you should sign up to, so you can increase your chances of finding your Christian match.

I do not believe that there is any Christian Mingle scam going on. It’s a service that helps Christian singles connect with other. The only way some people may see it as a scam is the fact that Christian Mingle is not Christian owned or operated. For some members, joining a Christian owned and operated website is important to them, because it means that Christian values, rather than secular values would be encouraged and followed by the company running the website. Christian Cafe is owned by Christians, and from my experience, all of the advertising given to free members is by Christian companies.

Other than that, I talk about the search tools, the dating profiles, the forums and other features of these Christian dating websites.

Christian Mingle had some interesting features, such as some personality quizzes. However, I personally do not believe in such quizzes. I think the best way to find out about someone is to meet them and talk to them properly.

I spent the morning going through Christian Mingle, Christian Cafe, and Christian MatchMaker. Some elements kept on popping up. There was a dating profile to fill in, photos to upload, and a chance to talk about ourselves by writing answers to questions. Furthermore, the singles I checked out are seeking similar things. They want a mate. They want a God-centred relationship.

Nonetheless, some differences arose. The interfaces were certainly different. I found Christian Cafe’s to be the most pleasing to the eyes, and the interface was much more elegant. Additionally, the quality of the members seemed to differ. Since Christian Cafe was a premium service compared to Christian mingle, I thought that the quality of the members at Christian Cafe was much better.

Read about Christian Mingle here

PS – Discover valuable advice on Christian dating and significantly increase your chances of finding your soul mate. Sign up on the upper right hand corner so I can rush you your FREE 7 Day Christian Match Making e-course.

Christian Cafe Canada: New Page Is Up

Christian Cafe Canada

Hi,

This is to let you know that a new page about Christian Cafe Canada is up.

It talks about whether Christian Cafe is suitable for people based in Canada, and for looking for Christian singles based in Canada.

I also list the many regions and provinces in Canada that a person can specify.

If you are Canadian, single, Christian and want to look for your partner, I suggest you check out my page.

Again, it’s about Christian Cafe Canada. Christian Cafe is an international site, but there are heaps of Canadians with dating profiles there. You are likely to be pleased when you join this internet Christian dating service.

PS – Discover valuable advice on Christian dating and significantly increase your chances of finding your soul mate. Sign up on the upper right hand corner so I can rush you your FREE 7 Day Christian Match Making e-course.

Christian Cafe Reviews: New page is up

Christian Match

I have just made a new page about Christian Cafe reviews. It tells you what is Christian Cafe, and its strengths and weaknesses.

I recommend that you read it if you are sitting on the fence about whether to sign to this online Christian dating service.

Signing up to this website will increase your chances of finding your Christian match. Furthermore, you may make plenty of friends along the way.

There is a variety of ways to communicate as a member. You can send emails, winks and instant messages. Furthermore, you can participate in the chatrooms and the forums.

One of the best bits about Christian Cafe is that it is full of Christians that are single and are actively seeking a partner. You will definitely save time and energy as you contact these people.

Hence, I suggest that you check out my page about Christian Cafe reviews. I am an actual user. If you have any questions about Christian Cafe, feel free to leave a comment and I will try to get back to you.

Charles

PS – Discover valuable advice on Christian dating and significantly increase your chances of finding your soul mate. Sign up on the upper right hand corner so I can rush you your FREE 7 Day Christian Match Making e-course.

Christian Match Making: Does the Church Keep Black Christian Women Single?

Black Christian Singles

Black Christian women have a reputation for being strong, able to take care of themselves and their families who don’t need or appreciate men who waste their time. There are many single parents who work full-time, take care of the home and devote most of their free time to the church and God. Faith is a strong guiding force in their lives and black women have long been regarded as the backbone of the church. But for all their dedication and contributions to the church is the inequity in the black Christian church keeping these women single and from finding their Christian match? The fact that the congregations of African-American churches are predominantly women is perhaps one of the problems. How are Christian black women supposed to meet single black Christian men if the pews are filled with women?

According to Deborah Cooper, author of “The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African-American Women Single and Lonely” the problem lies in part with traditional gender roles which makes women submissive to and inferior to men. She goes on to say that black women are being subtly brainwashed and placated week after week into quietly waiting for what they want to magically come to them.

Let’s look at some of the messages black Christian women are being told in sermons throughout the nation with regard to finding a Christian partner. The first message black male spiritual leaders are telling their female congregation is that the way in which they are seeking a partner is wrong and perhaps even ungodly. They quote the following scripture from Proverbs 18:22 that states, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” and use it to make the point that the reason black Christian women are not finding a man is due to the fact they are looking for one. But wait a minute, isn’t that the point? Not according to a large section of African-American ministers leading female flocks every Sunday. The overwhelming message being sent is that the “man” is the one who is to do the finding not the woman. The job of the woman while waiting to be “found” by a Christian man is to basically stay hidden.

So where exactly should a black Christian woman hide while waiting to be found by a black Christian man? The answer to this is more difficult to glean and the message sent to women by the spiritual male leaders of the church is vague. The black Christian church suggests that a Christian woman hide herself in being a Proverbs 31 woman. Women are instructed in order to be found by a Godly man they must not put themselves out in the dating world in any way via traditional or online methods. Instead the church suggests subservience, submission and hard work. If a black Christian woman spends her days in service, submission and loyalty to the church taking no part in looking for a husband and is lucky enough to be “found” by a man Godly enough to know where to look for her then her “time” for a relationship has come.

Perhaps the time has come for single black Christian women to uphold all that a Proverbs 31 woman is about for she is not only about taking care of her family but is also a businesswoman, a woman of social responsibility, and a respected woman of society. As single Christian men search for their Proverbs 31 woman perhaps they should be reminded that the husband in this passage is recognized within the city “because” of his wife not the other way around. By doing this, the black Christian woman will have a better chance at finding her Christian match.

PS – Discover valuable advice on Christian dating and significantly increase your chances of finding your soul mate. Sign up on the upper right hand corner so I can rush you your FREE 7 Day Christian Match Making e-course.

Christian Match Making: Should Single Christian Women Wear Bikinis?

Single Christian Women

Should a single Christian woman wear a bikini? Does the way a woman dress affect her ability to find her Christian match? The way we dress has changed a lot over the last fifty years and swimwear has changed right along with it. Styles, material, or the lack thereof, have taken on a drastically different appearance than their more modest counterparts. Along with this change has also come a shift in the way society, as a whole, views what is or is not deemed appropriate in relation to clothing of any type. Styles that were once considered flamboyant and sexually tempting seem modest and perhaps even prudish now. Let’s take Marilyn Monroe for example. Her low-cut neckline, form-fitting bodice and leg showing skirt were considered quite risqué for the time period she lived in. A woman wearing the same dress today might still bring attention to herself, however, the outfit itself would not necessarily rate in the top ten of seductive wear.

In looking at the issue of a single Christian woman wearing a bikini it is important to first look at the underlying issues surrounding why women in general desire to dress in clothing that accentuates or reveals their bodies. In order to do this one must look at the barrage of messages that are sent to women from the time they are young girls via the media, fashion magazines, and the movie industry. While packaged differently the intended message is still the same. If you want to be successful, attractive to the opposite sex, and popular you must dress a certain way, be a certain weight and be willing to do whatever it takes to stand out in the crowd. For some, standing out in the crowd has meant lowering their standards with regard to dress and modesty so they won’t be ridiculed by their peers.

By the time a single Christian woman has reached maturity, this message has been played over and over for her to the point where she becomes desensitized to it. An example of this might be a young Christian college girl invited to her first beach party. As she shops for a bathing suit with her single Christian friends who all select revealing seductive bikinis, the girl simply tells herself it is okay because my friends are Christians and they are buying them. Unfortunately, this is a message that gets reinforced when she wears the revealing swimwear and receives lots of attention from the opposite sex.

The ultimate answer to whether or not a single Christian woman should wear a bikini is found in the bible. The bible doesn’t mention the word “bikini” but little doubt can be left as to how a Christian woman should dress after reading 1 Timothy 2:9 which states “Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.”

Proverbs 7:10 is one of those verses that really sums up what a Christian woman should be asking herself any time she considers wearing something sexually seductive or revealing. “And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart.” The descriptive nature of the clothing in this verse implies perhaps that the clothing a prostitute wears differs dramatically from normal or modest dress for a reason. Perhaps instead of asking whether or not a single Christian woman should wear a bikini and if it affects her ability to find her Christian match maybe the question we should be asking is why would she want to?

PS – Discover valuable advice on Christian dating and significantly increase your chances of finding your soul mate. Sign up on the upper right hand corner so I can rush you your FREE 7 Day Christian Match Making e-course.

Christian Match: 5 Popular and Pure Christian Dating Ideas

Christian Mingle

You finally met someone you are interested in who shares your Christian beliefs and values and the two of you are going on a date. While this is indeed something to look forward to and be excited about a little preparation can ensure you both stay out of the danger zone. In this article I hope to share some fun and safe ideas for your dates that will help you get to know each other better in ways that last and keep you true to your values at the same time. Whether it’s your first date or your fortieth date you can use and reuse these ideas combining activities and adding your own personal flair to suit the particular occasion. These simple ideas can also help you determine whether this person is that perfect Christian match or not.

For a first date it is often easier and less stressful to double or even triple date with Christian friends. The added friendship and support takes the burden off of just one person to keep up the flow of conversation providing a fun and safe environment for new daters to open up and be themselves. In addition it has the added benefit of letting you see how your date responds and interacts with your friends which can shed light on your future compatibility.

Another tried and true idea popular with Christians as well as the secular world is dinner and a movie. Instead of having dinner for two though why not try one of the restaurants where there is seating for eight around a stir-fry grill. It’s great entertainment and adds spice to the usual dining experience. After dinner when selecting a movie, try choosing a comedy or adventure film over romantic or very sad movies as these can often bring out strong emotions in your dating partner.

Volunteering together at a local nursing home, food bank, or animal shelter is another unique idea to try if you are further along in your dating relationship. Not only are you helping others but you might find out some interesting traits about your significant other. This and other public service dates are great ways to see if you and your date share the same views on service, compassion, giving and many other Godly traits.

A very popular and great idea for a pure and fun night is going to a Christian concert or festival. Most of these events now host two or three Christian bands with praise and worship, games, and sometimes even food before and after the event. You can even continue the fun after the date by singing along to the music on the way home that is if you buy a CD. Many mega churches now host date nights or local bands as well if there are no concerts in your area.

Sports dates can also be lots of fun, good exercise, and with so many different activities to choose from this idea can be recycled for more than one outing. Many singles enjoy miniature golf, bowling, batting cages, go-cart racing or horseback riding. If you aren’t the sporting type you could also try going to a sporting event instead of doing it such as a pro baseball, hockey or football game. No pro sports where you live? You might try instead a minor league game or local high school game. Top it off with a hotdog, hamburger or soft-drink and you are set for a night of good clean fun.

PS – Discover valuable advice on Christian dating and significantly increase your chances of finding your soul mate. Sign up on the upper right hand corner so I can rush you your FREE 7 Day Christian Match Making e-course.

Christian Matchmaker: The Devil’s Guide to Attracting and Dating Single Christian Men

This guide serves as a road map to attracting and dating single Christian men. Where Christian women fail most often is in finding their Christian match is their initial approach with a potential dating partner. We will look first at how to attract a single Christian man and then talk about ways of keeping them in a dating relationship. Before we go any further throw away any pre-conceived notions about the way things should be done and let your hair down a little. Conventional methods of attracting and dating obviously have not worked in the past or you would not be reading this guide. So forget what you know or have been told because I am going to let you in on some of the best kept secrets to attraction and dating.

First of all go through your closet and throw out everything that doesn’t have a low-cut bodice, isn’t form-fitting, or revealing. If you have to throw out everything and start from scratch that is fine also as buying all new seductive clothes will be an investment. Next, go online and look at ads that show women in scantily clad garments including lingerie. These are the examples you will want to emulate as you choose clothing for yourself. Keep in mind that the more skin that shows the better as you want any potential date to know how proud you are of your body. Once you have an arsenal of short skirts, high heels, and low-cut shirts you are ready to move on to the next step.

Next, instead of waiting to wear all your new things to church on Sunday where they most likely would not be appreciated anyway go out on the town. You don’t want to be caught sitting home alone on a Friday or Saturday night waiting for someone to contact you as it could send the message you don’t have very high self-esteem. Choose a place that has lots of men such as a nightclub or bar. Don’t worry about someone from your church seeing you there as they will be there as well. It’s okay to have a few drinks before you go in or before you start talking to men you find attractive. Everyone does it and it will help you fit in and look like you are having a good time.

Now you are ready to mingle. As you approach men look for signs they are a Christian such as a large tipper, which means they are giving, or men who will buy you a drink, which shows they are interested in your needs. Once you have singled in on a few choices get to know them each a little at a time. Christian men understand you need to be selective when dating so they will understand if you need to hold hands, kiss, or become physically intimate with different men during the night.

You should have no problem attracting men as long as you have remembered to cater to their visual appetite by dressing properly as outlined earlier in the guide. In fact, you will most likely have men clamoring for your affection. Don’t be shy in giving out your number and address to all those showing you attention. After all, you don’t want to appear ungracious or rude. At the end of the evening choose one of the men you have been getting to know to invite back to your home while letting the rest of your potential dates know you will be available the next evening and throughout the week.

On the off-chance you meet a married man this guide will still work as long as he is unhappily married or is going through a divorce. Don’t judge him or count him out as a potential partner. After all, God has forgiven him, who are you to judge. Good luck in your search and in finding a great Christian match.

PS – You just heard terrible advice. Discover genuinely helpful advice on Christian dating and significantly increase your chances of finding your soul mate. Sign up on the upper right hand corner so I can rush you your FREE 7 Day Christian Match Making e-course.

Christian Match Sites: How to Meet Single Christian Men Online

Single Christian Men

Finding that Christian match can be a daunting task in today’s fast paced, live for the moment, pleasure filled society. Finding a single man, much less a Christian man, can be likened to looking for “the needle in a haystack”. Many single Christian women tired of being set up by friends and co-workers have turned to online dating. With the plethora of online dating sites available one would think finding a suitable Christian match online would be easy. However, online dating brings with it a minefield of dangers. The single Christian woman navigating these sites for the first time needs to do her homework.

There are many online dating services that advertise Christian match-making services in a safe and secure place. Sounds like a great way to meet single Christian men right? Perhaps, by gaining all the tips and insights you can prior to posting your first profile can not only ensure better results but keep you safer in the process.

The bible says “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Cor.6:14, KJV). The fact that you are seeking to meet a single Christian man in an online Christian community is a great start. The following tips should help you build your online profile so that you attract the right men, help you identify and project to potential dates your beliefs and values, keep you from becoming a target of scammers, streamline your “must have’s” and “would likes” in a potential partner and learn ways to keep your emotions in check when communicating with more than one potential man at a time.

Your profile is the place where you talk about yourself, your likes and dislikes, and what you are looking for in a potential partner. Too many Christian women end up sounding “desperate” for lack of a better word. Remember, you are a woman of God. Proverbs 31:10 states, “An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels”. Before you write anything, ask yourself what are the top three “must haves” for your potential dating prospects. Once you have in mind your must haves you are ready to write your profile.

Next you will want to focus on your core values. What are your core values and beliefs as a single Christian woman? Keep in mind that believers of many different faiths and religions utilize these sites. Once you have identified what you believe and value write it down in such a way that anyone reading your profile understands immediately what your relationship is to God, how God plays a part in your daily life, and your beliefs about important topics such as sex and marriage. Assuming that just because you meet someone in an online Christian environment ensures their beliefs and values are the same can lead to huge disappointment.

Another issue Christian woman may have is that scam and con artists, despite safety features designed to keep them out, prey on the emotions of lonely women. These con artists will often surf hundreds of profiles looking for women who appear desperate and naive. They craft fake profiles, tailor their responses to your emotional needs, and before you know it, they have convinced you to send them money, give them your home address, or compromise on one of your core values or beliefs. It cannot be stressed enough the importance of caution when responding to a potential dating prospect. Read through the profiles thoroughly. Whenever possible, talk to them on the phone several times to see if what they say matches up with what they have written. Watch for inconsistent behavior and red flags. Never send money to anyone you have not met or give them specifics about where you live or work.

Tips four and five go hand in hand in that the identification of your must haves help to keep your emotions in check. An example of this might be after a month of being a member of four Christian dating sites you get a response from a very attractive Christian man. After reading through his profile you find that he lives nearby, has similar goals for his future, likes many of the same things as you but has been divorced. This is where the single Christian woman must be strong and not swayed by her emotions. Emotions might say what would it hurt to meet or talk to him or that you could just be friends. This is perhaps the number one area that Christian women fall prey. Remember the devil knows your weaknesses and a wolf might be masquerading in sheep’s clothes. Above all pray continually as God knows the desires of your heart and He will guide you to your true Christian match.

PS – Discover valuable advice on Christian dating and significantly increase your chances of finding your soul mate. Sign up on the upper right hand corner so I can rush you your FREE 7 Day Christian Match Making e-course.

Christian Match – Should Christian Couples Kiss Before Marriage?

Christian Match Kiss
In this day and age of dating such a question might seem ridiculous to the world, however, in the eyes of single Christian men and women it remains one of many moral dilemmas faced in the dating arena. Whether dating for the first time or you area convinced this is your Christian match, Christian couples want and need to know just how far is far enough when it comes to kissing and other forms of physical intimacy. In search of answers to this question one must seek the bible to see what God has to say about kissing. While the bible does not specifically mention “kissing” it does make reference to various forms of physical intimacy. One of the most intriguing verses I found was Genesis 29:11 Then Jacob kissed Rachel and wept aloud. How profoundly this verse portrays the complexity of desire, passion, and longing. It could be argued that one kiss from Rachel was all it took for Jacob to labor fourteen years for the privilege of having her as his wife.

The bible is very clear with regard to pre-marital sex, adultery, immorality, and lust as seen in 1 Corinthians 6:18 which states, Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. It is not so clear on whether or not the act of kissing alone is considered to be a sexually immoral act.The “kiss” has been used since ancient times for various reasons none of which could be construed as immoral. Some of these non-sexual uses of kissing include social greetings in certain cultures and kissing in the context of respect, loyalty, and honor. Dr. Jim Reeves points out in one of his articles on Christian dating that there is nothing inherently sinful about kissing or cuddling in Christian dating. He goes on to explain that this is largely dependent upon the definition single Christians give to these words. He then goes on to say that each single Christian involved in a dating relationship needs to define what kissing means to them. The importance of this, Dr. Reeves points out, is that for one Christian a kiss may be seen as just a caring gesture while the other Christian might be stimulated into sexual thoughts and responses just by thinking about it.

Perhaps looking at the act of kissing from a purely physiological viewpoint can help shed some light on why kissing often leads to more problems for the single Christian desiring purity in their dating life. Both men and women have erogenous zones – meaning that these areas heightened sexual sensitivity which when touched may result in sexual excitement or stimulation. One of these erogenous zones is the mouth, specifically the lips which are filled with small nerve endings that make them more sensitive than any other part of the face. Once the lips touch in a kiss various neurotransmitters, hormones and endorphins are produced by the brain and body to include serotonin, dopamine, and adrenaline. As a result our mood and feelings are affected, heart rate is increased, blood vessels dilated and hormones that help us regulate feelings of attachment, devotion and affection are released.

Whether you look at kissing from strictly a biblical perspective or take a more physiological standpoint the conclusion one comes to is the same. The kiss is a powerful entity not to be taken lightly by the Christian single. Clear and defined boundaries by both Christian parties in any dating relationship in addition to prayer and conviction are the cornerstones of a successful and pure relationship. By doing these things diligently you are on your way to discovering your Christian match that God intended you to be with.

PS. Want to meet easily Christian singles and increase your chances of finding your partner? Then try Christian Cafe’s free 10 day trial. Christian Cafe is an online Christian dating service that has helped Christian singles find their partner and get married.